THE WAFFLE-O MOBILE: ray’s vehicle of choice
Fun fact: if you approach an employee and insist that they go ‘check the back’ for an item that’s not on the shelf, there is a 90% chance that they’ll go to the back room, scratch their ass and check their text messages for five minutes, and come back out with a sympathetic smile and a ‘Sorry!’ because they know without even looking that the stock isn’t there.
Or the old “can you ask a manager?”
i left my bedroom window open and my light on and i forgot moths existed. i have now been reminded thoroughly and im not lookin forward to summer
does Brizzy not have flyscreens??!
well i mean most houses have flyscreens, some dont though, like mine does i just took mine out when i was like 14 so i could climb onto my roof
platonic vs romantic love?
seriously they built up this huge dialog with Molly saying this is what it looks like when someone is in love with Sherlock and then they had John play out the same moments and dialog and people say there’s nothing going on.
Molly is the decoder ring get with it
The intricacies and ingenuity of this Sudoko cube of a show will be the DEATH of me.
during a quidditch game the Ravenclaw announcer narrates “and the seeker’s taking a dive, he’s turning down, can he-” before a muggleborn darts in and yells “TURN DOWN FOR WHAT” into the mic and every muggleborn in the entire arena loses their minds
"oh an excellent-" another muggleborn grabs the mic and yells "SHOTS, SHOTS, SHOT SHOT SHOTS! EVERYBODY!!" and there is no hope of recovering the crowd of dancing muggleborns after that
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.